Drifting

“You need to have dreams.
Dreams are actually the avenue through which we achieve success and true prosperity. To be without a dream is to be without a plan. You are at a loss for what to do.
Give yourself permission to dream and to succeed.”

~ Ellen Peterson, Choosing Joy, Creating Abundance

By many accounts we had the blizzard of the decade here last week (the Top 5 in the region if you’re counting). Even though I prepared to stay in, my indoor projects went nowhere. I do think that when the wind howls around your house, it stirs up energies inside the self too, creating a restlessness that prevents one to tend to ‘life as usual’. Because those natural forces are highly un-usual and need to be respected.

I observed the growing snowfall from my windows and went out the day after the storm had settled. Now we’re treated to gorgeous sunny days, while the city is trying to figure out how to clear all this snow.

Meanwhile I am processing the shifting of my life, and integrating all the different aspects of ‘me’. When I was leaving my job there was a duality in responses. People wished they could just leave too, and yet they could not conceive that I had no concrete plans yet. Culturally, we are tied to what we do. The first descriptor of oneself is tied to a job or a primary role we play.

In the movie Avatar, their greeting is “I see you,” but the English greeting is “How do you DO” or “how are you DOING.” The implication, which I am grappling with, is that if we aren’t ‘doing’, we aren’t.

Especially now with modern gadgets, there is very little stillness. When I take walks in the park, the people I see walking alone are on the phone. The only gadget I have out is my camera. But even when its battery dies I like to just wander and look at the beauty of the world.

There is a stillness in the blanket of snow. The pristine white feels soothing and cleansing. The day after winds were howling and waves were crashing, the lake is silent, and the blanket of snow softens the world.

One doesn’t have to take a sabbatical to explore stillness. You can dedicate a day to just being. To not be guided by obligations, but to just drift into your own self and think about the tiny wishes you’d like to come true. When you catch yourself saying “I wish I could…” what is it that prevents that from happening now? Can the to-do list wait? Do you truly need a full year, quarter or month to fulfill your wish? Is there something you can work toward on the weekend or during a vacation?

Are you using ‘obligations’ to other people as an excuse? Most people want others to be happy, so your significant other or children should be willing to accommodate you in what you’d like to achieve. They might even cheer you on.

I let a lot of nay-sayers direct my actions in the past. But ultimately I was the one responsible for my life and how to make my dreams come true. I used circumstances and opinions as an excuse to stay put in the safety of the known, rather than daring to explore the unknown. Over time I realized that the desires I have within me need to be honored. Those heartfelt wishes are what guide us along our path and help us fulfill our destiny. There will be detours and meanderings to teach us and reinforce our dedication to our personal quest, but if something is tugging at your heartstrings it is doing so for a reason.

Don’t wait for a life-changing event to affirm your destiny. Start building toward it now. You are the one in control of your life, no matter what the circumstances of it are. When you commit to your heart’s desire, you will start to see affirmations along the way. When you voice that heartfelt wish, even more encouragement will start to flow.

There will still be naysayers along the way, because your actions remind them of their own unfulfilled wishes, but they prefer to maintain the status quo. But even those dialogues will help you affirm how dedicated you are to making a change, now.

My past decisions about college and jobs were guided by practicality and logic, and the plans I have for this year will be ‘difficult’ and ‘tough’ by the market’s assessment. Still, I have to honor that wish and see how it goes in spite of any ‘logic’. If I don’t try, I’ll never know for sure what might have happened.

With all the meandering choices I’ve made, there is a rightness to this year, to the present. I still try to give it structure and operate under the ‘doing’ mode, but I am allowing events like the blizzard and my inner senses to guide each day and not adhere to rigidly to schedules and timelines of my own making.

There is a strong sense of inner preparation. For what, I don’t know. But life has worked out fine thus far, so it’s best to just drift along and see where the days lead…