Pact with Self

During a recent Tarot reading the King of Wands was my outcome. Now I’ve done numerous card-reading/astrology/pendulum/horoscope experiments when it comes to romance without avail, but as I read the description this representation of a man warmed up to me.

“He is a man of vision filled with energy and is happy and willing to share his wisdom with others. The King of Wands enjoys life and expects and wants the same for others,” states Joanne Walmsley in her blog.

The description in Tarot Plain and Simple describes him as a “generous, mature man who is loyal and committed to a monogamous relationship” and “an honest, trustworthy, professional man.”

While I don’t know how to go about finding this fair haired suitor, it is fun to take those traits and internalize them.

In 2011 I was spooked by a breakup, and I haven’t really been proactive about putting myself out there again (not that I haven’t been looking!). To process the sudden turn of events I drafted up a list of all the qualities I wanted in a relationship.

I also crossed out all the things that were deal breakers.

While I was ambivalent about incorporating “negativity” in the piece, I also felt it necessary to literally bury the bad and cover it with symbols and words of transformation to signify that I could move beyond old patterns and move into a better place.

Fusing it all was a therapeutic process.

I wrote out a pact with myself, and arranged words of joy and hope and enthusiasm onto the lighter side of the wood.

Sassy Aphrodite’s statue was added as the emblem of love and independence.

This could very well be just one more reading in a string of them without a true outcome, but nonetheless with Spring in the air I do have hope for a pairing with a nice companion at some point in my life.

The spread indicated my heartbreak (the queasy-making 3 of swords) is behind me, that I needed to be intuitive and patient, that it might be time to open up and be a bit more spontaneous.

Ultimately, it is good to keep dreaming and hoping.

Hearts are resilient, after all, and can grow three sizes with the right relationships.

While this is a personal piece, other encaustic collages are available for sale on Etsy.

So we’ll see if this Queen of Wands finds her King this year!

Photos of Tarot cards are from the Robin Wood deck, the Russian Tarot of St. Petersburg, and the Universal Tarot by Maxwell Miller.